You are my paradox.
There are two mixed and complex sides.
Things that cannot be together, but there they are.
Everything the same and different.
Like fire hovering above ice.
I cannot be with you.
Because of you I am breaking,
even though you made me whole.
I’m stitched together,
but still coming undone.
Memories of you are confusing.
A little bit like knowing
and a bit of forgetting.
I know I’ve painted rainbows and happiness,
but there is nothing left but hurt.
I am stopping and letting you go
while catching up the dream to hold.
Loving you with all my hate.
Life’s bitter betrayal,
in letting me fall in love.
Far way in another land
I think that you are singing;
at my doorstep a friendly neighbor
that was once our song.
I cannot hear, but it caresses me softly.
Pieces that are scattered all about,
neatly lined up in careful rows.
Everything inside me spilling out.
So much tightly bound up and hidden away.
Standing at your coffin
and holding your hand.
No more embraces.
Hating that you are gone.
How am I supposed to remember?
When it hurts this much…
To recall is to know you are lost.
Now, always and forever,
I am yours.
If nothing else, know that.